Being A Witch On Anti-Depressants

***Content Warning: mentions of ableism, depictions of depressive episodes and anxiety, medication***

Being a Pagan, at its core, is usually a very nature-oriented practice. It is because of this that I often encounter other pagans that have a certain...opinion about prescription medication--particularly anti-depressants and other mood stabilizers, preferring the holistic approach to all types of healing.

That is why I chose to write about this.

So, I've experienced depression for just about my entire life (from childhood to the present day). I'm not talking about the moments of sadness we all have from time to time, I'm talking about clinical, major, i-cant-eat-sleep-or-get-out-of-bed DEPRESSION.

As a young child I ed this off as youth angst or whatever

but when a particularly harmful depressive episode hit me in my junior year of high school, I finally built up the courage to ask for help before it was too late.

After a series of tests, interviews, and back and forth with doctors--I was diagnosed with Recurrent Major Depressive Disorder.

Since my diagnosis, I have been receiving treatment for my depression and anxiety and part of that treatment is--- you guessed it---anti-depressants (alongside therapy).

This has changed my life in ways I never thought possible. I was finally able to BREATHE. I finally felt like the two-ton weight strapped to me back has fallen off and I was free to live my life outside of this anguish.

But this was not enough for some witches.

Me and people like me (on this lifesaving medication) are often chastised and shunned for taking anti-depressants and mood stabilizers by unqualified, untrained, and very very ignorant people that come to us with arguments like, "You can get the same effects by sticking your hands in some dirt! Or walking on grass! Or through the forest!"

Even some folx that have tried anti-depressants and later gave them up for an alternative will come to us and call us "weak" or "fake" because what worked for THEM, didn't work for US.

Listen.

Reading one article on Psychology.com does not make you a psychologist. It does not make you qualified to give health advice or recommend catch-all treatment options to whoever uses a method of treatment you don't agree with.

Just because some folks are able to wean themselves off of medication with a regular therapy appointment and an extensive coping toolkit developed after years of work, does not mean all of us can. Depression, just like many other mental health issues, are caused by chemical imbalances in the brain.

Anti-depressants don't work for everyone, and many of us have had to work our way through dozens of prescription combinations and terrible side effects in order to find the right ones. But I need these pills to be able to live my life.

It takes more than a walk in the park to treat depression.

You need to understand that depression can cause symptoms such as fatigue, a lack of motivation, physical pain, and so much more that can make getting out of bed every single morning to stick our hands in some dirt literally impossible.

Depression is not "just feeling sad" and it is not the same thing as being down when you get a D on your math test or go through a break up. It has real, physical, and mental ramifications on our daily lives.

I personally have suffered through a severe decrease of appetite, extreme drowsiness, low energy, and sleep problems all because of my depression and that's not even the half of what I go through.

But you're telling me some wet grass in my toes is going make all that better?

I've seen images in the past calling anti-depressants "sh*t" and that is just not ok.

While yoga may work for you, it sure as hell doesn't work for everyone. And I've had enough of being shamed for finally choosing to help myself after years and years of pure torture.

To anyone else on anti-depressants or other medications, please know that you are NOT weak.

You are NOT less of a witch or Pagan for taking these meds.

You are loved and you are valued.

And we deserve to live our lives to the fullest.