Every day, I'm reminded of the great privilege I have, to be able to relax - even if I'm in a house where I'm not accepted for who I am. I'm reminded, because there are a lot of us, who seem to live, standing on needles... Despite being out, I'm expected to keep it under wraps, as if that topic is a gaping wound and we're all perpetually sitting at a dinner table. Cover it up, and everything will be fine. But, some of us don't have that grand luxury of just hiding the elephant in the room. Some of our families are the kind who don't just let things go... And, as we all grow a little closer to the people in our households, it can become worrisome to have them so near to a truth they hate so much. It can feel like at any moment, they'll stumble right into it, and the confrontation could be... uncomfortable, to say the very least.
Try not to be afraid... These worries are just a stepping stone...
Do you when you were little, and simple things upset you? Maybe you lost a toy, or a classmate called you, "dumb." Back then, it probably felt like the world was against you. But today, being called dumb doesn't hurt so much, does it? After a few years, it wasn't so bad, and now it's just a joke you tell a friend, when they forget the main topic of the conversation. "How dumb," you say, when you stub your toe. "You're so dumb," a friend laughs, after you both walk into a light pole, too busy talking to look forward. You laugh, too. It hurt less and less, the more you heard it. And, eventually, it became no more than a joke. Soon, as you grow and experience hardships greater than the fear of being outed or put in the spotlight, by a less-than-wonderful family, you'll lose even the hurt that their scorn brought you.
If there's one thing I learned, when I came out, it's that the best things in life aren't easy. Our history is built on the experiences, gathered like sediment at the end of a surging river of hardships, which our community has overcome. We've grown stronger, not by suffering, but by knowing that no amount of suffering would consume us - knowing that the foundation of a solid future was never made from strong branches, because even the strongest timbers rot away. The morter of our foundations comes from the fine silt, gathered from the delta of that river we overcame, mixed with the ashes left over from every raging fire we walked out of, alive. The bricks? Our stories lay together, like the uneven blocks of an ancient temple... unparalleled by those who seek to break our spirits... made to outlast all which might rise and fall around us.
These first steps you take (the first couple decades of your lives) aren't likely to be easy. But, you do have people you can turn to, even if it's only for consolation... And, times are changing. Every day we add to the structure on which we'll build a better future... one where nobody has to deal with what you've faced.
Stay strong
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